Our 1st 7 meet ups & dates

Our 1st meet up 16/7/08
after chatting for a few days... i suddenly suggested to meet her up for dinner after her work at bt timah... i was late by alot... coz it was a sudden decision... and i had to rush there... not knowing which bus to take and end up taking alot of time waiting for bus to come... by then it was already 9pm... we chose chicken rice and order a dish of vege.. the vege was too salty though.. the chicken still ok... i send her to her bus stop and waited for her bus to come... after tat i walked to my bus stop and got home...

Our 2nd Meet Up 17/7/08
the next day was actually supposed to be our 1st meet up... its her off day.. while i need to go TTSH for my medical appt. too... we meet up at bugis as she wanted to do some shopping over there... we went over to bugis junction food court and ate korean food... after tat we went back to bugis for more window shopping... after tat we went over to The Cathay to collect our movie ticket to Hancock... went to eat Ben and Jerry before the movie... after the movie we walked back to orchard Taka before take a bus ride home, which i sent her...

Our 3rd Meet Up 19/7/08
meet her up after work and went over to clarke quey to have our dinner... well... we missed a stop and have to walked from china town to The Central... btw... we wore the same colour shirt... actually i wanted to wear same as her de... hehe... we walked abt the area... still to decide wat we wanna eat... in the end... the rain and the crowded indo seafood restaruant made us pick manhattan as our dinner... she paid for it... so sweet of her... well.. she say wanna treat mi back as i did most of the paying back on thurs... after our sumptuous dinner of seafood and lobster platter... we walked alittle of the area before rushing to send her back home...
as there was no direct bus available... we transferred bus at taka there...

Our 4th Meet up & our 1st DATE 23/7/08
she was supposed to take her basic theory test, but some mixed up made her having to re-book the test date again... hence she went over to west mall to wait for mi as i rushed over from my house... wore my new vest bought on our 2nd meet up... we went over to vivo city to catch Red Cliff... tat's when i requested to hold her hands... its the 1st time i actually hold a gal's hand, if u believe me... we actually chatted abt it over sms for the past few days...
we walked abt... and ate at Carls Jr before the movie... after the movie... we continued to do somemore window shopping and head over to the roof for some sea breeze and chit chat... another 1st happened... go on and guess... lots of talking done... but soon i had to send her back... due to her restrictions... took the train to douby ghuat and transfer to bus...

Our 2nd Date... 26/7/08
well not much of a date then... coz i asked her our to watch movies with my sec sch frens... its the 1st time i bring her to meet my frens.... went home after work, rested for a while before meeting her up and headed down to orchard Cineleisure... as we were rushing to have our dinner before the movie begins in half an hrs time... or so wat we thought... coz the guys end up reaching the cinema later than us... we bought a foot long of SUBway and ate it outside the sofa area of the cinema... you one bite, i one bite... how more sweet can it be...? hehe... after the movie we parted with my frens abt came upon the neoprint shop... she was suggesting to take neoprints a few days back.. so i suggested we go in and take it... and we did.... thus our 1st kiss on print... hehe... all sweet and blissful... sent her home after tat...

Our 3rd Date 30/7/08
I had a bad headache for the past week... went to see the doc the previous day... was feeling much better... we met at lot 1 to have a light breakfast at Mac.... went over to AMK HUb area to sing K... was looking for its new and 2nd outlet nearby, but find in vain... so went to the older one but it was still nt tat bad... weekday crowd are much lesser... sang we did... end off our session with a couple of love songs duet... after tat we catch the movie HELLBOY at AMK Hub... thereafter riding a bus to SUNTEC to see SG Garden Festival... definitely worth the money with the plants being showcased... after tat we went to marina to have our dinner at food court and ate Jap food... headed to 7-11 to buy some bread for my family and drinks for ourself... went to Esplanade roof top... cuddling and chatting... and the 1st time i saw her cry... dun cry anymore sweety... i won't make u cry again... if u ever do cry... pls cry because u are over-joyed... after tat we went to merlion for her to take some pics... after tat sent her home again....

Our 4th Date(7th meet up) 2/8/08
just came back from our 4th date... its the 11th day we've been together as a couple... everything is still as sweet...meet her up after work... saw her work place for the 1st time.... 1st time i arrived early as well... most of the time i'm always late.. u know... travelling takes time... today is the most time we spent waiting for bus to arrive... from 184 to 197 to 14 to 77... we went over to queensway for me to get a new pair of street soccer boots... mine is quite taken apart after last week's game... especially the left pair of the boot... i've been trying to glue it back together since a few mths back but its time to get a new one... the gal made her pick... i tryed it on... its quite comfortable.. and i bought it then.... eat decided to eat the Katong Laksa there, an impatient couple kept complaining abt the lack of space after being ask to share the small table at the eating place... after tat we travel to Far East for her shopping... she bought 2 dresses, a pair of shoes and some accessories... then we walked abt from wheelock to wisma to cine then send her home... today was the latest i've sent her home... i almost didn't made it to my last available bus at her home area...

this is my brief diary of our meet up and dates... hopeful of many more sweet memories to come... may this, once sad and gloomy blog, turn into a sweet and blissful memory holding ground for the both of us...

thanks gal... I LOVE YOU...

I'm Finally attached...!

its a moment to celebrate... an event to be joyous abt... coz after 22 yrs of waiting and searching... i've finally found someone i can give my love to... and someone who is willing to love mi in return... and we both believe that we have found a life partner... but we still need time to settle down... tat we both agree on... coz all things happened too quickly... too fast... we are still sweetly in love with each other... and hopefully continue to remain this way till old...

Dear michelle,

i hope that i've really found the one, likewise you the same... i dun wish nor do i wanna give u promises.. coz promises can be broken... but i'll do my best to love u each and every day to come... though we may not see each other everyday... we both know we missed each other much and yearn to meet up and be together at all times... but i think being aparts helps to strengthen our bond and love more... we need to trust each other to keep on moving forward...

this post is for u... and the subsequent posts will be written to take down all our moments...

torture...

why are you still torturing me this way...

i clearly don't deserve this kind of treatment...

the look on ur face, the signs from your body language is shows nothing further from the truth...

if you think that what i'm saying is false, i seriously think that is should be proven...

busy

busy... tat's the word everyone is using nowadays... coz exam is looming on everyone...

boring... tat's the word some of us are using these days... coz studying for exam isn't as attractive...

there are alot of things i wanna grumble abt... but i dun wish to say it out... its the usual stuffs... how i wish we are back in the days of sec sch... or early jc... haiz... but time flies... we can't always look back, so we have to stick our head forward and go thru its... be it together or alone...(more of the latter)

i think there's a time when we need to take a break...
from the same grp of frens...
from work
from study
from play
from loneliness
from every little details

i find that i hardly fit into any grp of my frens... maybe they are already a close clique among themselves.. so i dun really fit it prefectly... maybe my thinking its different from theirs.. its not my character to fit into their range of topics... i dun mind sharing cost if everyone is eating abt the same value, but i dun like ppl give the face if i'm paying for my own share... wat's wrong with it? i pay wat i eat is there anything wrong? its unfair for me to eat the cheaper of the food and pay for ur share as well...

moreover... u all can remember everyone's birthday in the clique and celebrate for them without fail... but when it comes to mi, which of u guys remember? didn't even ask i presume... celebrate, eat buffet, share cost for treating... spending and spending... but i sometimes feel i'm not enjoying wat i spent on...

its already hard for me to fall in love... its even harder for me to forget a love... even though it nvr passes the line of relationship... so u can expect me to hang on to every and any little hope for me to love again... but its not happening... it nvr does... some still doesn't know i like them before... so know, but divert them to friendship and avoided them... i dun blame anyone but myself... i've nvr spend alot of effort in chasing one which i'm quite ashamed of... haiz...

yup.... i know... gals seeing this will not come to like a guy like me... which is fine with me, coz if they judge me by entries on blog, means they are shallow as well.. hehe... no offence... but i've far more depth than u r able to see...

think this blog gonna close soon ba... running out of things to complain... haha...

re-listening to selected Linkin park songs... heal my soul... let me shout out loud from within and ease my sorrow... wondering when they are coming again for a concert... do hope to attend them for once...

Used

Seriously... i feel like i'm some kind of item... being used and then left to rot... only when there's a need will i be making 'an appearance'... at other times... i'm just the forgotten one... being left in my own world... with no one i can cling onto... i dun mind helping... well, i love to help ppl... but please dun treat me like what i said above... need me and look upon me only when you are having trouble... on the other hand, cut me out of your life when you live happily through it...

well... a perfect example would be birthdays... its an annually affair... some remember it, some dun... some gave blessings, some forget to or remember only upon mentioning... some remember others' and called u along, but have they ever thought of your birthday and call others out to celebrate together? hmmm... i dun mind ppl forgetting mine, and i also dun mind going out to celebrate others together, but the feeling of used and neglection sort of lingers around and slowly magnified... so i can't be overlooked... there's always a thousand and one reasons for explanation so i shall not argue abt it... i'll not put it to heart as i wanna stay happy... but to stay happy i dun have sole and full control over myself...

i know myself well of what i need, but my friends may think otherwise and their thoughts are surely different from mine... so i can understand... 越长大越孤单, i think these words rightly portray my feeling now... i seriously need someone who understand, cares and feel for me... i'm not who i'm now, nor am i who i wanna be now... but i can definitely go better than where i'm now... i can and i will... just give me the support i need and deserved...

Tired...

If i continue singing, will i be happier?

have been recuperating at home these past week... monday was my last mock paper... so i literatelly had the whole week doing nothing... indeed... doing nothing is really boring... hopefully tomorrow i can start my engine on doing revision... well... maybe start warming it before it can run fully ba...

its been almost 2 mths since i last sang... so feeling a bit gian now...

I have friends that i have with love,
but my friends have loves they dear.
I am not the dear they loves,
so who am i to love and dear?

well... i have endure much of ppl not replying to my sms... and i shall not take it anymore... i dun care how important i am as a friend to you, i dun care if u call me brother or not... this kind of thing should not happen at all... and i treat it as serious as it should be... so... from now on... if i ever had a sms not responded to, dun blame me for doing the same back... if i dun state my case how am i to survive in this world?

i treat my friendship dearly, but i doubt the case for my so-claimed friends to be... well... maybe i'm the only one that being treated this way...

i shall rest my case here...

I dun fit

well... sometimes reading other ppl's blog make u feel minor... insignificant... it makes me feel... how am i supposed to fit into their lives..? as a friend that is... they circle of frens seems to fill with so much fun and happiness... but i'm all alone by myself... so wat if i state out my situation? no one really bothers... even if they care... it always seem to end at the point of saying out... it seldom lead to any action taken... for always, there's thousand and one reasons why this, why that... how do u suppose i feel? maybe i'm not enough a fren for u... maybe what i thought of u doesn't have an equal meaning on u to mi... maybe i nvr tried enough... maybe i'll nvr be there... maybe, juz maybe, the slightest thought in that little corner of ur mind resisted the temptation to call mi for whatever reasons that u thought i have... i seldom reject... but always get rejected... that's my life... and i dun see any much changes in it... maybe its getting worse... now i'm seriously thinking... thinking that one day... i would just throw away everything, but refuse to even start anew... maybe doing this i'll feel better...

sometimes i dun even know why i get angry that such stuffs... for what reasons? who am i to be angry? why should i do so much but end up with nothing? maybe that's where all my motivations are lost to... hehe... smile :)

have been restraining my self ever since to blog such stuffs... but sometimes when u see too much.. held too much... you need to release it all out just to have an empty mind to start with... well... its empty now... sometimes when i starts to think too negative or something i keep grubbling... well... i'll just close and mind, stop my thoughts and tat's it... its over...

HAPPY ORD WEEK to ME!!! half more day of 'work' and i'm free to collect my IC on friday...! yeaH!

Being a Life Partner

today's valentine's day... so i shall talk abt something of relevance...

i know what a person i'm... but my frens ard mi may have different view on who i'm... the face i wear while with my frens are generally who i really am... less the fact that i do not talk abt who i love/relationships... ppl tend to ask why i dun talk much during gatherings, my answer is that i'm normally not the focus of the topic or i know little abt it to join in the conversation...
i'm quite sporty, kind by nature(though not really showing much of it), i'm quite gentleman(hehe), i care abt my family most, then come my frens and others...

now... who kind of gal am i looking for in life... who's suitable to be at my side for the rest of my life? well... you nvr know whether u can actually find what you think/set out... coz life's unpredictable... so... lets get started...

1) well... beauty may not be the most important... but the gal have to know how to take good care of herself... self discipline? there's only lazy person, there's no ugly person in this world... its alright to be plain jane, but she got to be confident of herself... height isn't much of a problem for mi, i can accept taller gf if tat's for love...

2) she has to be quite independent... as in when i'm not by her side due to unforeseen circumstances, she need to know how to take care of herself

3) she has to be filial to both our parents...

4) her temper has to be good... coz i dun like quarrels as seen from my brother's case... its best if both can talk it out to solve problem instead of arguing and shouting at each other... tat's a NO-NO for mi...

5)she needs to be understanding...

well... tat's all i can think of now... my mind isn't functioning brightly since lesson juz now... muz be the drugs i took for my shoulder... got a stronger one this morning from polyclinic... anyway... this shall be the 5 basic points i look out for ba...

天天都要好心情

这几个月也过得满起起落落的
开心，不开心的都有
但事情总会有个结局
现在只想快乐的迎接新年的到来

心情虽然想开心
但纳闷的是朋友却一直在搅局
竟把我想表达的事实
说成是感情怒语

如果真是朋友就应多体谅
式着了解情况在做定论
乱用字眼，只会显得关心朋友不够深

and they were saying they care as frens...

7 smses, 3 Msn msges...
wait a min, how many frens do i have?
thanks for all that remembered...

so let mi thank the following for remembering... in these order...
wanyu, hq, mw, leong, li ling, wm, qin min, ee teck, amirah, shimin...

i officially have only 10 frens... that's if u consider those who remembered my birthday, by hook by crook... at least they remember...

and how many of them know that i went for ops recently? i guess not many also...

and seriously... i hate the word emo now... ppl tend to use it as and when they like it... wat's the meaning of it if u can't differentiate it from things that are of the truth...? if everytime someone says a fact, the truth... u treat it as emo... doesn't that make the person feel sad... as u dun believe wat he's trying to say and u treat as if he's creating an issue? tat's so wrongful.. wat's the point... i can't stop ppl saying it... its their mouth...

well... i do know that some genuinely dun remember frens birthday... especially 'NOT CLOSE frens' as said by her... tat's true... but if i already mentioned and yet... then i really got nothing to say... seriously... nothing else i can say...

blah blah blah

i admit that i'm nt a tactful person in terms of love... nor am i handsome enough to have gals surrounding mi.. (haha)... nor tall... i'm juz average... perharps that's why those that i love chose to like others than accepting mi... maybe they set a higher target for themselves and they do get to fulfill their wishes most of the time...

frens will juz say that my time will come... hopefully.... coz i'm still waiting... but not keenly... as i'm hurted quite badly all these yrs... thanks for many whom show their concern... maybe few... or until i tell them... yeah... kind of sad when no one really knows my situation...

think i'm quite a bad fren... i treat my fren well... but i'm not getting the least of anything in return... for all u may explain for urself but u cannot deny that u still go out with ur frens much more times than i do...

guess all i can do is wait for some gal to fall for mi huh? lolz...

心又再次受伤

肩膀的伤还没痊愈，心又再次受伤。

为何我的心不断的再受伤?
爱一个人为何要受这么多的苦?
我以渐渐的失去爱的动力。

由始之中，大部份的女生还是会选择又高，又帅，又壮的男生吧!
像我这样的人只能配当朋友的角色。

guess its time to stop everything le... initially wanted to confess my love and even order roses for her on valentine's day... but all this will mean nothing after wat someone told mi today...
there's no point doing anything anymore... i just wish her the best then... for mi... i've got nothing else to say... maybe luck has nvr been on my side all these while... especially in love... no matter how much i pray, how much i craved... its still not within my control... i've already suspected all along... since she know that i like her... she's been quite cold towards mi... i was thinking that maybe she already got someone she like... and true enough... these things are either one way or another, so its quite common... common until i'm tired of it... i'm really tired... i can't believe it ended up this way again... why?

guess i'm nvr good for any gal ba...

u may say its a matter of time before i find my true love... who can assure that? this kind of thing where got 100% sure? it only give mi the impression that those gals that i like, i can't give them happiness, instead i'm like bringing them trouble, un-easyness...

just let mi nag a bit... cry a bit... and i'll be ok le... i'm fine... but i won't be like before... coz my heart is more than dead... i can't bring myself to liking anyone, anymore... not now... coz i promise myself that she's the last i'll ever like... but i haven even confess... it makes things more saddening for mi...

my thoughts..

our chats are always short... but it means a lot to mi...
my love for u will nvr fall short... and u mean a lot to mi...
chances are few and limited... but i hope to take every one of them seriously...
seeing you in person are limited... but the sight always lighten up my day...
i love to sing... as you are the song in my heart...
i thrived to be happy... as i hope it will spill over to u as well...

i was chatting with rui xin last night as i saw her msn nick say with 300 contacts but none to talk to... tat's true to mi as well... though my contacts are lesser... doesn't tat mean that the time and relationship between each is closer? apparently not...

but still... i do get well wishes from a couple of frens upon knowing i went for ops... one that i dun even talk to much... see... there's still hope in life... even when others fail u... u shld nvr give up...

a week more to my birthday... wat can i do? wanted to ask ppl out but so far... 2 out of 3 say they are busy... then she didn't answer mi directly... i hope to spend my birthday with her... but does she wants to in return? valentine's day is approaching.... i was thinking of getting her roses... but do i send to her home or ask her out in person... sending to her home may cause some issue as i think she doesn't wan her family to know anything.... but to give her in person will require a huge amt of courage... which may end in extremes... choices choices... as easy and hard as they can be...

i will always remember my frens birthday... most is close frens, thus i remember in my mind... some i check on my hp as i save them becoz they are good frens... while some others i juz check on frenster.... but to think than ppl seldom remember mine until it was put up on notice... its really saddening... it shows that u don't really have a place in that persons' heart.... as frens la... u can always do thousand and one things for ur frens... but for even one of them to return the kindness is touching enough... yet ppl do take things for granted... only time will tell whether a fren can becoz a close one, a great one, or a forgotten one...

what are, who are...?

once again the topic of friends comes to mind...

what does friends means? to you and to me... maybe everyone has a different interpretation in their mind or even in their heart...

i my heart... i've done much for my frens... maybe no one notice... but even if they notice... some may take for granted or nothing of a big deal... how many times have i rejected a request or refused to help? some details are hard to notice and i know that... some feelings are to weak to even detect... while some are just being deflected like an unpleasent stuffs...

those out there may have suffered the same... or even worse... but some living in their happy lives will nvr understand what its truely like... u may try ur hardest, or put urself in others' ppl shoe... but those shoe will nvr fit u as its been moulded to the shape of the user... so stop trying to act like u know wat it feels like... no one will ever understand what the sufferer is feeling... u may come a long way but still, the experience is nvr the same for everyone...

week in week out... i'm here staying at home... with nothing to do... nowhere to go... no frens to ask out or ask mi out... and on the other hand... i still see pics and blog abt ppl happily have a gd time outside... and some still say i also always stay at home de? are u trying to provoke mi or u think i'm easily bluff through?

so wat am i trying to say? nothing ba... where's my frens? or so called frens?

school's busy? busy with another opp. sex that u are hidding from ur fren? busy avoiding mi for wat ever reason? there's always thousand and one reasons thats true or can be used... i'm not angry or wat... its just that why i can't have a life like everyone else... go out with frens(but not the same few guys for mths) how come no one ever called mi out ever since i left JC? is this to suggest that i'm not good enough a fren to be called out?

i know myself... i'm shy, quiet and maybe insensitive at times... but other than that i juz the same like others... maybe i'm not talking enough... to make more frens other than my classmates or in my CCA... but doesn't less makes it easier to have more time for everyone? or maybe their social circle it too huge for them to handle and i'm just causally neglected....

and so wat if i grumble here... no one cares... as in those who dun bother to ask abt this blog add. ... so wat if i'm always so enthu abt gatherings... no one shares my passion abt meeting up with frens... or let's juz say in big grps... they always like to go out in small cliques instead... so am i wrong in any way? i just wanna be with my frens and let everyone see each other... wat's so hard, so difficult? why is there always some negative ppl trying to ruin the day without fail? why does it have to be a special occasion like birthday or new yr then we get to meet up?

i know everyone got their own frens and u got many more frens that's willing to go out with u more often... so its just mi and myself... trying hard in daily life to make myself laugh and stay happy of all the staleness in life...

this is seriously not a scolding post... and i mean no harm or trying to hurt anyone... its just tat a person with so many so called frens... out of how many its really true to you?

or is the term 'friend' just to broadly used... maybe it just means that you know them, and they know you... full-stop...

• normal frens just appear every time and then... they left marks but time slowly washes them away... they will find u only when they need help... other than that, they nvr bothers you...
• good frens helps u when u are in trouble... listen to u when u are in sorrow.. but still they only find u every now and then...
• great frens will notice ur problem and help you out... they talk to u much more than others... hang out with u often... sometimes out of sudden surprises u with things...

maybe not all is true ba... but tat's how i feel wat frens should be...

真无聊。。。

开了这blog也有两个月了，不知多少人游览过? 目前只有一个人问过这里的网址。或许这就是少人来这的原因吧。

‘再着么坚持，抵挡不了心碎’
‘失去了你，还要梦想做什么?'

‘希望’生‘渴望’，渴望无奈的变‘失望’

难到我这个人，一生只能有无数的朋友，一堆的好友，但没半个知己，而没情人的权力?

爱与不爱的的机会全在你手中，要看你着么掌握了。

心里有好多感触，但很难用一笔一字写出。每当看到天上的星星都不经意想到你。

多希望是你的守护星，再遥远都要看着你，在晴朗的夜空闪耀着你。

也不知到要如何的去爱你，如何去开口才正确，而又不会让彼此尴尬困扰。

顾忌?

人们总是因为某些‘顾忌’，
而因此错失了一些‘机会’。

真的是要在失去以后，
才感到遗憾，未免太迟了吧！

一生只能有短暂的生命，
所以跟应该活的没遗憾。

想做的，说的，玩的，
在有生之年完成吧！

最后，我想说的是。。。我爱你

曾经爱过，
现在爱着，
未来快乐。
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难到我真是一个被需要的时，才被记得的人吗?

different thoughts...

my mum got sick a few days back... vomitting and giddy head... in the end she had to be brought to A & E to seek further medical help on new yr's night from 8+pm to almost 12midnight then reach home... all these made mi heartache... i know she has been working hard to support my SIM studies... working lots of overtime... but i dunno whether that sickness was due to that or wat... but i really dun wish to see her getting sick because of mi... end up the doctor suspect that there is a stone inside the ear that's causing the giddyness...

for mi... i will be at total lost if anything were to happen to my parents... i just wish i can repay them by doing well in my uni but i still can't push myself more for it... cause this is not the only issue i'm troubled with...

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in 2 weeks time i'll go under the knife again... this time for my left shoulder... guess after tat i'll be out of action for quite sometime... still feeling that my left arms are stiff after swimming last sat...

----------------------------------------------------------------
(i dare to blog this coz not everyone has access to this blog yet... juz wanna refresh such beautiful memories)

seriously... i still think that day, the time spent with her is the best i ever had... well... who wouldn't be on cloud nine if you can spent a whole day with someone u liked? but maybe i wasn't all myself... nervous inevitable ba... coz its the 1st time i've been out with someone i like... sing k, watch movie, shopping, have dinner... then send her home... honestly... all these things are a first for mi...

singing k with her, alone(almost)... though she say her only experience comes from the bathroom... which happens to most ppl... but tat day after hearing her voice, its not as bad as she claims... in fact she sounds quite ok... juz need a little more confidence ba... but those few hours wasn't really enough as she quickly comes to like the feeling of singing k and wanted more... who doesn't? for mi its really all abt letting loose, getting relaxed and destress...

after tat we went to took neoprints, 3 of us... its quite a long time since i've taken neoprint ba... maybe 3 yrs or more? got a pic taken with her at my side but due to some panicking from the gals, tat pic wasn't choosen for print out... haha.. sad... we went to retake again and spent quite some time doing touch ups and editings...

soon we found that time was running out for our movie at vivocity... so had to rush over there as we still have yet to collect the tickets.. luckily online booking was allocated a queue for collection, which was almost empty... bought some throat sweets ease our throat from the singing and went in for the movie... well the movie was not as exciting as the previous 2 installments, but still quite nice ba...

after that we were literally walking aimlessly ard vivo as we doesn't have clear plans next... she was waiting for confirmation from her mum for dinner, while i dun have much things as the guys didn't tell mi their plans for dinner... so we found ourselves doing some window shopping... or should i say i was accompanying her... its was a rather good but weird feeling at her side while watching her browsing thru dresses... i'm quite shy abt it... coz its another 1st for mi too... especially when she ask mi to comment when she was trying it on... err... i was like dunno wat to say... tongue-tied... i dun really sweet talk like others... but i guess gals are quite sensitive if we recommend them to get a larger size? hehe... but i wasn't trying to mean anything else if it doesn't fit juz get another size lor... coz for mi, as long as u feel comfortable in the clothes u wear, u feel good, u will look gd...

we continue to walk ard and chatting alot.. maybe its the most i've talk in a day ba... waahaha... in the process learned alot of things abt her... but the more we walked, the more she became concern abt my flat feet problem... scare that i was in alot of pain, but when u are happy, pain is nothing of concern to mi ba... but i guess my indecisive mind may sometime irritate ppl ba.. coz we dunno wat to have for dinner as we both agree to 'sacrifice' and accompany each other for dinner... haha... but i guess some ppl like mi can't make up our mind for wat to eat ba... most of the time is on impulse and see wat's ard... but vivo and habour front offers so much food we dun even know wat to choose... i was asking her suggestion, while she was seeking mine... coz we both are ok with anything... but we end up enter sakae sushi as i was quite gian for sometime... hehe...

after dinner we continue somemore walking for digestion and bought some clothes from a store before heading home... well... i reached my stop but i took the initiative to accompany her and walk her home... its a feeling i've nvr had but long wish... however its far from completeness...

however... at this goodness are nvr lasting... things seem to changed as my actions becomes more visible and i think she can sense it... i'm not sure wat r her thoughts abt all these but for mi its nothing but wonderful... too bad its not lasting... or tat's wat i think...

i dunno whether she's still bothered by her last or she doesn't wanna start new yet...
or she's more keen on her current situation and doesn't want any changes anytime soon...
or she doesn't like mi to start with and think i can be nothing more than juz frens...
or she already have a target in mind...

i dun wish to think that much or tat far... it will only make mi more unhappy as time passes...but i've come to live with it... for all that i care... i only wish the best for the ones i love... if i can't be the one to give her happiness, i wish that someone who ended up with her can... i juz wished that i'm given a fair chance of being abt to love someone... am i not deserved to love someone?

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i hate comparing... abt wat?
comparing exam results... comparing ur child and my child... blah blah... comparing only angers each other as the chinese sayings goes... ren bi ren, qi si ren...
but most of the time i'm juz stating the truth and nt really want to compare my life with others... why does my frens lead such a fun life while i stay at home most of the time? how come i dun have frens to call mi out week in week out, while i'm always the one trying to organise something...? am i that busy body in trying to ask my frens out often and irritates them instead? is trying to make my life more filling that annoying to u? can't i feel down if i dun get any responses? hehe... juz saying my thoughts la...