what does friends means? to you and to me... maybe everyone has a different interpretation in their mind or even in their heart...
i my heart... i've done much for my frens... maybe no one notice... but even if they notice... some may take for granted or nothing of a big deal... how many times have i rejected a request or refused to help? some details are hard to notice and i know that... some feelings are to weak to even detect... while some are just being deflected like an unpleasent stuffs...
those out there may have suffered the same... or even worse... but some living in their happy lives will nvr understand what its truely like... u may try ur hardest, or put urself in others' ppl shoe... but those shoe will nvr fit u as its been moulded to the shape of the user... so stop trying to act like u know wat it feels like... no one will ever understand what the sufferer is feeling... u may come a long way but still, the experience is nvr the same for everyone...
week in week out... i'm here staying at home... with nothing to do... nowhere to go... no frens to ask out or ask mi out... and on the other hand... i still see pics and blog abt ppl happily have a gd time outside... and some still say i also always stay at home de? are u trying to provoke mi or u think i'm easily bluff through?
so wat am i trying to say? nothing ba... where's my frens? or so called frens?
school's busy? busy with another opp. sex that u are hidding from ur fren? busy avoiding mi for wat ever reason? there's always thousand and one reasons thats true or can be used... i'm not angry or wat... its just that why i can't have a life like everyone else... go out with frens(but not the same few guys for mths) how come no one ever called mi out ever since i left JC? is this to suggest that i'm not good enough a fren to be called out?
i know myself... i'm shy, quiet and maybe insensitive at times... but other than that i juz the same like others... maybe i'm not talking enough... to make more frens other than my classmates or in my CCA... but doesn't less makes it easier to have more time for everyone? or maybe their social circle it too huge for them to handle and i'm just causally neglected....
and so wat if i grumble here... no one cares... as in those who dun bother to ask abt this blog add. ... so wat if i'm always so enthu abt gatherings... no one shares my passion abt meeting up with frens... or let's juz say in big grps... they always like to go out in small cliques instead... so am i wrong in any way? i just wanna be with my frens and let everyone see each other... wat's so hard, so difficult? why is there always some negative ppl trying to ruin the day without fail? why does it have to be a special occasion like birthday or new yr then we get to meet up?
i know everyone got their own frens and u got many more frens that's willing to go out with u more often... so its just mi and myself... trying hard in daily life to make myself laugh and stay happy of all the staleness in life...
this is seriously not a scolding post... and i mean no harm or trying to hurt anyone... its just tat a person with so many so called frens... out of how many its really true to you?
or is the term 'friend' just to broadly used... maybe it just means that you know them, and they know you... full-stop...
- normal frens just appear every time and then... they left marks but time slowly washes them away... they will find u only when they need help... other than that, they nvr bothers you...
- good frens helps u when u are in trouble... listen to u when u are in sorrow.. but still they only find u every now and then...
- great frens will notice ur problem and help you out... they talk to u much more than others... hang out with u often... sometimes out of sudden surprises u with things...
maybe not all is true ba... but tat's how i feel wat frens should be...
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